A little over a week ago, my husband of 19 years decided to walk out on me.? I had just thrown him a beautiful party for his 44th birthday and let him take a 5-day birthday trip with his buddies to North Carolina.? In the past three years, he's gone from being overweight and sedentary to being super jock.? He bikes, rides, & swims with his groups and is rarely ever home.? I've been struggling to save our home from foreclosure, and he's been spending money and buying ridiculously expensive bikes.? He has always been obsessive over one toy or another and has gone from phase to phase our entire marriage; but this one has seemed to stick.? There has been a tremendous amount of pressure and stress.? Our eldest went off the rails.? Our middle daughter just left home and started college.? Our youngest son is getting ready to turn 13.? He has always been a self-obsessed guy, but this has just left me stunned.? I've given everything I have to try and be a wonderful wife and mother, but I have never gotten the kind of support or partnership from him I thought I should.? My focus has always been the family; his focus has always seemed to be himself.? I always told myself that maybe he just didn't have the tools but believed in my heart that he truly loved us all, so I always made excuses for him.? I was the "grown up" who had to deal with everything.? Three months ago, we had a crisis and almost split, because I couldn't stand being abandoned anymore.? I felt I should be worth at least as much time as his hobby!? He came back saying that he loved me more than anything in the world and nothing would mean anything without me.?
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Now, after a lifetime of feeling abandoned by him, it seems the one thing I believed about him is no longer true.? He told me he "isn't in love with me anymore," it's not "me" I'm a wonderful person, wife and mother, but he just isn't feeling it.? Now he says he isn't sure if he ever loved me.? He just wants to be happy in his new "lifestyle."? He left me one week before MY 52nd birthday, when we were planning a family trip with our kids.? Although he has been all over the country, I had not vacationed in 3 years - was going to have one day at Universal with my family before my eldest moves to Seattle.? I'm destroyed.? My kids are destroyed.? I suggested marriage counseling, but while he grudgingly said he might consider it, he doesn't think it will help.? I feel like all I can do is let him go.? I feel like my life has blown apart.? I have not only lost my husband, but am now going to lose my house, my daughters are gone, and I have no job with a 13 year old son.? I do not know how to survive the feeling of betrayal and loss.? Please pray for me.
Source: http://www.focusonlinecommunities.com/thread/25193
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